They can be confused or upset over their mothers hospitalization or not understand why she is tired and cannot play as much as usual. These feelings are only amplified by feelings of jealousy over why the new baby
is receiving so much attention. This is why it is so very important for parents to find ways to reassure siblings that theyre loved and valued and to help them come to terms with the fact that there is another member of the family who also needs care.
There are ways to minimize this transition to help soothe older children and make them feel more a part of things during the first few months at home with the new baby:
Prepare older children in advance of the birth. Get them excited about the event, and have them be active participants in preparing the nursery.
Have the siblings visit the new baby and mum in the hospital.
Have special gifts for the siblings that are from the baby.
Dedicate some time every day to be alone with each sibling.
When taking photos of the baby, also take some of the siblings.
Ask grandparents or other close relatives to spend special time with the siblings-perhaps a special outing to the park, zoo or out to lunch.
Have your siblings pitch in with caring for the baby.
Stay positive, and understand that a new baby is also a big transition for your older children.
(From BBC.co.uk)
Growing up together
Sibling rivalry sometimes increases with age. Older children may only begin to show annoyance when the baby starts to be mobile and snatches their toys or interfering with their games. And a younger child may be jealous when her big brother or sister starts school.
You may find your children go through stages - they may be great friends at one age, then fall out all the time at another. This is quite normal.
If you think your children will never get along, it's better not to force them together. It might be better to let them have separate friends and activities.
If at all possible each child in a family should have somewhere that is all her own. If space is tight, this could be a drawer or a box - somewhere to keep private treasures.
Avoid making comparisons between your children, especially if one is receiving a lot of praise. This favouritism can make them too competitive, and may cause distress to one child if the other is constantly held up as an example.
There are ways to minimize this transition to help soothe older children and make them feel more a part of things during the first few months at home with the new baby:
Prepare older children in advance of the birth. Get them excited about the event, and have them be active participants in preparing the nursery.
Have the siblings visit the new baby and mum in the hospital.
Have special gifts for the siblings that are from the baby.
Dedicate some time every day to be alone with each sibling.
When taking photos of the baby, also take some of the siblings.
Ask grandparents or other close relatives to spend special time with the siblings-perhaps a special outing to the park, zoo or out to lunch.
Have your siblings pitch in with caring for the baby.
Stay positive, and understand that a new baby is also a big transition for your older children.
(From BBC.co.uk)
Growing up together
Sibling rivalry sometimes increases with age. Older children may only begin to show annoyance when the baby starts to be mobile and snatches their toys or interfering with their games. And a younger child may be jealous when her big brother or sister starts school.
You may find your children go through stages - they may be great friends at one age, then fall out all the time at another. This is quite normal.
If you think your children will never get along, it's better not to force them together. It might be better to let them have separate friends and activities.
If at all possible each child in a family should have somewhere that is all her own. If space is tight, this could be a drawer or a box - somewhere to keep private treasures.
Avoid making comparisons between your children, especially if one is receiving a lot of praise. This favouritism can make them too competitive, and may cause distress to one child if the other is constantly held up as an example.
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Comments (1)
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written by Mirriam, 09 December, 2008
written by Mirriam, 09 December, 2008
I want another baby, my husband does not! I have a 9 yr old from previous and together we have a 2 yr old. He says 2 is enough. Before we were married we had talked about how many kids we would like to have and both decided on 3. Yay!! After we found out we were pregnant..he decided NO more. What do I do? I am going stir crazy with this. He will not budge and knows exactly how I feel. Am I supposed to just forget about it and move on? And how do I do that?
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